We've come to the close of April's 'Letter to Muffin' fanfic series, catch up on all of the letters below, if you haven't already. It's been nearly a year since the series started, and has a fitting ending with Patrick's letter to Emma.
Emma Grace Scorpio-Drake,
That is a big name for such a small creature. But it’s a strong name…and if you are anything like your mother you will be a strong little girl. I probably should tell you who I am…I’m your father. I’m the voice that you’ve been hearing reading stories to you at night when you won’t settle down and let mommy sleep. You’ve been moving around a lot lately. It’s funny cause if I lay real close to mommy, with my stomach pressed against hers its like you’re kicking my stomach too. It’s a strange feeling to know that your mother and I created you. And I have to admit I’m a bit jealous that your mother has gotten to “bond” with you for the last nine months, but I know I will get the chance to bond with you once you are here. I can’t wait to meet you. I very excited that you are going to be here in a few weeks. I think the only person more excited than me is your mother. She’s waited a long time for you Emma. And I waited a long time for your mother.
I should probably tell you a little bit more about myself…something’s I think you should know from me, before you hear them from other people. You see for a long time I closed myself off from the possibility of love. I refused to believe that it was worth the time and effort that one needed to put forth to achieve it. I knew from a young age that true love existed, your grandparents, my parents, taught me about true love. The problem was that I watched it destroy my father after my mother died, and it was then that I told myself that there wasn’t anything in the world that would make me open myself up for the kind of hurt that followed that. You see I was 18 when your grandmother died and before that fateful day I was 100% sure that I wanted the kind of love that my parent had. But after that day…..I didn’t want to take the risk.
So I dated a lot, but refused to put my heart into it. I wasn’t looking for anything long term. And I was happy….at least my version of happy. Then one day…I met the woman that would change my life forever. Your mother stormed her way into my OR and my heart. I found myself falling in love with her before I even knew it and it scared me. So I pushed her away, told myself that I didn’t feel for her what I did….but your Grandpa Noah knew that we were both lying to ourselves and that our relationship was far from over, so he meddled and got us back together.
It’s what set us on the road to admitting that we love each other. But something else happened before we actually said to the words to each other. You see one day I was operating on a very sick woman, because that is what I do, I’m a brain surgeon, and you see this woman was sick. She had AIDS, which is something your mother and I will explain to you when your older, because it does effect our lives. Anyways, when I was working on this woman there was an accident and I cut myself with an infected scalpel. Because of this I had to be tested to see if I had HIV. This hit very close to home for your mother because her first love died from AIDS and she’s HIV positive, so she was scared that I would have it too and she would lose me. The thing is that the more I fell in love with your mother, the more I was scared to lose her…to the HIV or her just walking away because of my fear of committing to her.
But it was that same day that I knew for sure that I was head over heels in love with your mother. I can remember the exact moment too. She sat down behind me, wrapped her arms around my arm and laid her head on my shoulder. That was the moment that I knew that I couldn’t live without your mother. A few months later I finally told her that I loved her. It was during one of our many fights, and she didn’t believe me, but I did something afterwards that proved it. I set up candles outside her window, brought flowers and made her realize that I loved her.
I have to admit that it wasn’t as smooth sailing from then on out like I thought it would be. We fought about apartments, student nurses, and children. And because of those fights your mother and I broke up. It was the longest two months of my life. I missed your mother like crazy, and during that time I did something I wasn’t proud of, and your mother went on a quest to have a baby. Then your Aunt Georgie was taken from us and it brought your mother and I back together….and we created you. Our little miracle. And even after finding out about you, things weren’t smooth for your mother and I, but one day we both realized that we wanted the same thing…you and each other. And now your mother is going to be my wife.
I need you to know Emma that I love you, and want you. Please don’t ever doubt that…no matter what people say. Yes I said over and over again that I didn’t want to have children, that they weren’t in my plans….but once I felt you move inside your mother for the first time….I realized that you and your mother were everything I never knew I truly wanted. I think that I let my fear of loosing everyone I loved, that I let myself believe that it was better never to have it then to risk loosing it. But your mother has taught me that it’s better to take the chance and love, then go through life without it.
So if anyone ever tells you, Emma, that I didn’t want you….I do. I want you with us more than I have ever wanted anything in my life. You are my baby girl….the child that I created out of love with the woman I am going to spend forever with. I hope that you never ever feel unloved or unwanted…because you are loved and wanted my baby.
I love you so much Emma and I can’t wait to meet you, to hold you and tell you face to face that you are the most precious gift that your mother could ever give me.
I will cherish you and your mother all the days of my life.
I love you Emma.
Love always and forever,
“What are you doing?” Patrick asked as he walked into the nursery hearing Robin reading aloud over the baby monitor that was placed by the bed.
“Reading to your daughter.” Robin said as she closed the journal and placed it on the table beside the rocking chair.
“Did she wake up?” Patrick asked as he looked at the baby bundled in her mothers arms. “I didn’t even hear her cry.”
“She didn’t cry.” Robin said as she stood up and placed the sleeping baby back into her crib. “I couldn’t sleep so I came to check on her and she woke up while I was in here.”
“So you decided to read to her?” He asked as he touched her soft head.
“Well I hadn’t read your letter and so I thought we could read it together.” She told him as she looked up at him.
“And what did you think?” He asked as he reached for her hand.
“That I am the luckiest woman alive.” She told him looking up at him. “I love you so much.” She said. “You have given me everything I ever wanted, and never thought I’d have. When I first met you I never thought we’d end up here, but you brought me back to life, opened my heart again and crawled inside never to leave. You are my love and my life.” She told him.
“And you are the woman that made me whole.” He told her as he kissed her hand. “You made me realize what I was missing by hiding from love, and I will forever be grateful that Jason’s brain injury brought you to me. Because I don’t think I’d have what I have now if it hadn’t been for you. You are my soul mate…the one I was meant to be with and our little girl is greatest addition to our family that anyone could have asked for.” He told her. “I would be lost without both of you.”
“You’ll never be without us.” She told him. “You are stuck with us forever.”
“I like forever.” He told her pulling her into his arms. “It’s a good solid foundation for our future.”
“I love you Patrick Drake.” She told him looking up at him.
“I love you more soon to be Mrs. Patrick Drake.” He said with a smile before dipping his head down and claiming her lips with his.