Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Letters to Muffin (Part 2)

Maxie sat staring at the blank page in front of her. She had agreed quickly when Robin had asked her to write the baby a letter inside the journal. It was something that she would have never thought of as a gift for her niece. But hearing her cousin’s reasoning behind it, she couldn’t wait to writer her letter. The problem was she was having a hard time putting her words in order. She wanted to make sure she didn’t say something stupid; something that would make Robin or Patrick upset, or make herself cry. She’d taken out a piece of paper from one of her notebooks and had started to write her thoughts down. She figured a few rough drafts would work for her, and then she would take the best one and write it in the journal.

Fifteen minutes later she had four different letters started and she realized that she didn’t really like any of them. They were either too business like, or too sad. She wanted to write the baby something happy, something that showed the baby she/he was loved. Sighing she balled up the pieces of paper and threw them in the trash. She then made herself comfortable on her bed and told herself to just write from her heart. ‘Her heart’ she thought, it wasn’t even really hers. Sure it was inside her body, but it was BJ’s. She felt tears well in her eyes as she thought about how lucky she was to still be here to see her cousin get her miracle. Deciding to talk about that she picked up her pen and put it to paper.


Hi baby,

I’m your aunt Maxie. I know that your mother and father call you muffin, but I’m sorry I can’t do that, so I’ll just call you baby. Now, I think I should explain a few things before I get into my words of wisdom. I’m your mother's cousin by marriage, but your mother is more like a big sister to me than she is a cousin. You see we were both taken in and raised by Mac. And he’s the best father any girl could have asked for. But you will realize that he’s also a great uncle as well. You, me, your mother and Aunt Georgie are all very lucky to be loved by him. He’s going to be over protective with you, cause you are our little miracle. See we never thought your mother would get the chance to have you, because she’s sick. But she’s having you, and we couldn’t be happier. We can’t wait for you to enter the world baby.

You are going to enter a family that is already so in love with you. It just sucks that you aren’t going to get to meet your aunt Georgie. She’s my sister, but she’s not with us anymore, and truth be told I miss her. I miss her all the time. There are times when something really good happens to me, and all I want to do is call her and tell her, ya know hear her say that she is proud of me, but as I dial her number, I realize that she’s not there anymore. I can’t call her. So sometimes when no one realizes it, I go to her grave site and talk to her. It’s kind of hard for me to start when I get there. Cause I don’t really know what to say to her, and I feel kind of silly cause she won’t answer me back. And the bad thing is I really want her to. I want to hear her voice; I want to hear her tell me something isn’t a good idea or that I’ve finally done something right. But I won’t ever get to hear those words from her again. And I am trying to make myself ok with that, I mean it’s been seven months, and I’m still so angry that she’s gone.

And the really sucky think is that we don’t talk about her. I mean I’ve had conversations with your mom about her, but me and dad aka uncle Mac, we don’t talk about her. I think he’s afraid I’ll break if he mentions her, and I’m afraid he’ll break so I don’t mention her either. But maybe we need to, I don’t know. I don’t know how to handle this, and I’m scared to ask Robin, that’s your mom. Because she has so much going on in her life with you and her relationship with Patrick, that I’m afraid to stress her out. But I want to ask her, and I know I need to. And baby, I’m promising you in this letter that by the time you are here, I will have talked to dad about Georgie. We need to be strong and healed when you are born; you need us to be that way. I’m just really sad that you will never know what an exceptional woman my sister was. But I will tell you all about her after you are born. I’ll make sure that you know her. I promise.

So a little more about me. When I was little I was dying. I needed a new heart, and my uncle Tony had this little girl BJ, she was amazing. I loved her, as did many people. And one day a bad accident happened and BJ was taken from us, but I always have her with me because I have her heart. And it was a gift. A gift that my cousin gave me, she gave me life, and I try to be a good person to honor her memory, but sometimes I don’t think I do. But I will tell you that everyday I am grateful for the fact that I have BJ with me always. One day I’ll tell you all I remember about BJ too.

Ok enough sad stuff. Let me just tell you now that I will be the one dressing you. You see I’m the fashion savvy one. Well the fashion savvy one that is still in Port Charles. Brenda, your other Aunt, is the fashion savvy one that lives in Italy, in one of the fashion capitals of the world. She will send you some awesome clothing, but I will definitely be the one picking out your clothes here. I am going to take you to the cutest baby boutique that I found. You will love it. Unless you are a boy then maybe not, so I hope you are a girl.

I mean if you are a boy that will be ok, I will still love you, but once you get older you won’t let me dress you anymore, I just hope that you have enough sense to not wear sweater vests like your father. I mean who wears them anymore? You would think the man being a brain surgeon and all that he would have enough money to purchase a better wardrobe, but he’s old and there is no changing him. However, you my friend will have me to help with that as well.

Sometimes when I’m with your mom I wonder what you will look like. I wonder which features you will get from your mom and which from your dad. I know that you will get your mothers capacity to love; any child of hers has to. I bet you’ll have your daddy’s dimples and both of their big brown eyes. You are going to be one gorgeous kid, cause you got some pretty good genes mixing to make you.

You are one very, very lucky baby. You are going to have the best parents, and I can promise you that they will not leave you on purpose. I know that with all my heart baby. They want you too much for that. You are going to know so much love baby. So much unconditional love that you won’t know what to do with yourself.

Thank you baby, thank you for coming into our lives when we needed you. You are going to make our family whole again, and because of you, you are bringing in more members of our family with your dad and his father. Your grandpa Noah is all sorts of awesome too. It’s really cool having so many doctors in the family.

Oh if you didn’t know your mom, dad and Grandpa Noah are all brilliant doctors. That is how your mom and dad met through work, but I’m sure that one day they will tell you that story.

I guess what I’ve been trying to say throughout this whole letter was that I can’t wait to meet you baby Scorpio-Drake. And what I want you to know is that no matter what happens in life, know that you are always loved, and I truly do believe that Georgie sent you to us so that we wouldn’t be sad about losing her.

You are miracle, and I already love you so much baby.

Love always and forever,

Aunt Maxie

P.S. Welcome to the family.


Maxie closed the journal and wiped her eyes. She didn’t want to go back and re-read what she wrote for fear that she would either rip the page out and try again or make herself cry again. Placing the journal on her bed she walked to the dresser and grabbed a picture of Georgie and some tape. She walked back to the journal and opened it to the end of her letter and taped the picture inside. She then wrote under it:

Georgie Jones, beloved sister and Aunt. I know you can’t know her baby, but this way at least you’ll know what she looked like, and know that if she was here, she would have loved you too.

Closing the book once again, she walked out of the room and downstairs. She placed the book on the table with a note to Mac that Robin had given her explaining what she wanted him to do. She then grabbed her keys and left the house. Fifteen minutes later she stopped at her destination and sat down.

“Hi Georgie.” She said softly. “So today I did something I never thought I would have done. I wrote a letter to Robin’s unborn baby. You see Patrick got her a journal to write her thoughts down about her pregnancy and instead Robin has asked some of us to write the baby a letter. It was a really great idea. It was hard to write ya know. I mean what do you tell a baby. It took me a long time to figure it out but finally I did something you taught me. I wrote from my heart.” She said. “I told her about you. My baby sister whom I miss so much. I wish you were here Georgie. I wish you were going to be able to see Robin and her baby. I know you’d be so happy. You loved children.” She said as the tears fell.


TBC......up next Mac.

4 comments:

CanadianLady June 25, 2008 at 7:12 PM  

OMG April you have me bawling here and I am speachless. That was so beautifully written. I could see maxie putting something like that in the book. Bravo!

FutureSuccess June 25, 2008 at 8:09 PM  

I love ur stories... They are so good like omg. I hope maybe u can do another story about robin, patrick, and there baby girl. It was amazing and so is this one.

Anonymous,  June 26, 2008 at 7:58 PM  

April-I cried as I read Maxie's letter. She sure knows what to say and I loved the picture and her visiting the grave site. I think I cried the hardest at that part. Thanks for contributing this to the online world.

firstlady42 June 28, 2008 at 6:34 AM  

April,

Thank you for another wonderful letter to muffin. I really could image Maxie sitting there writing this letter. It was so heartfelt and moving, I had to cry. I can not wait to read Uncle Mac's next. Thank you for a wonderful letter.

Mary Ann

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