Proud

Title: Proud
Author: Steph aka LicksHisLips (ILUVNYYANK@aol.com)
Rating: PG
Pairing: Robin/Patrick, Patrick/Noah
Category: Drama/Romance
Disclaimer: I do this out of a love for the show. No infringement is intended.
Spoilers: Nope
Summary: Robin helps Patrick work through some of his issues with his father.

Note: I was inspired to write this after Friday’s (6/29) episode when some of Patrick’s issues with his father resurfaced. I’d really like to see Noah and Patrick work through some of their issues and I’m hoping that Robin will help them do that someday soon. Hope you enjoy it and please let me know what you thought. ~Steph


--- Proud: Part 1/1 ---


Robin stared at Patrick as they ate in the hospital cafeteria, largely ignoring the chicken sandwich in front of her. He could feel her eyes on him and finally looked up from his plate of spaghetti.

“What?” he asked, his brow furrowing in curiosity.

She shook her head. “Nothing.”

Patrick sighed and dropped his fork. “Robin, you’ve never once said ‘nothing’ and meant it. Come on, tell me. What’s on your mind?”

Robin gnawed on her lower lip thoughtfully. “No, we’ll just end up in a fight and I really don’t want to ruin this perfectly nice lunch we’re having together.”

Patrick leaned forward, pointing a finger at her. “I thought you were the one who said you didn’t want to have the kind of relationship where we don’t speak our mind just to keep the peace.”

Robin tilted her head to the side and let out a soft breath. “Okay, just remember you asked.” She paused for a long moment as Patrick’s eyes focused on her. “Although you’ve come a long way, you still hold so much resentment toward your father. You still compete with him and don’t trust his surgical abilities. This afternoon, you were insulted when I said you remind me of him sometimes and you said that he’s the last person you want to be like.”

Patrick dropped his eyes to the table, suddenly regretting the fact that he had asked what was on her mind.



“Is there a point to this summary of my feelings toward my father?” he asked quietly, attempting to keep the sharpness out of his voice.

She nodded her head firmly. “Yes, there is. I realize you two have quite a history and many issues. I know that you have valid reasons for feeling the way that you do toward your father. I guess I just don’t understand why you can’t put that aside and be proud of him.”

Patrick raised his eyebrows. “Proud of him? You mean for the surgeries he performs?”

Robin shook her head. “No, proud of how he’s fought his addiction to alcohol and rebuilt his career.”

Patrick stared at her for a moment that seemed to drag on for an eternity. He finally swallowed hard, as he ran a hand through his hair. “I…uh…I am proud of him.”

Robin’s forehead creased and she allowed a scoff to pass through her lips. “You could fool me. The way you speak about him and treat him doesn’t exactly scream pride.”

“Well, I am,” he replied softly, his attention focused on pushing his spaghetti around his plate.

“Patrick, do you have any idea how hard it is to fight an addiction to alcohol? He made the effort and attends AA meetings regularly. He worked hard to rebuild his reputation. Yet you always seem to be waiting for him to fail, waiting for him to crash and burn all over again. It's like you expect it.”

“That’s because I do,” he replied sharply, his head snapping up and his gaze meeting hers.

“Why?” she asked.

“The same reason you always expect your parents to leave every time they reappear in your life. Because it’s happened before.” Patrick released a drawn out breath. “Look, my father has tried this before. He’s gone to rehab and AA. And every time he came back and said this time would be different. This time, he wouldn’t go back to his old ways. But every time, without fail, he did. He would have a rough day or something would remind him of my mother and he would end up in a bar drinking himself numb. Then he’d try to stumble into the O.R. and operate.”

Robin reached across the table and linked her fingers with Patrick’s. “I understand why you’re afraid it could happen again, but your father has been sober for over a year now, Patrick. We’re not talking days or weeks or months. That’s an achievement. That’s something to be proud of him for. I think he realizes how much he stands to lose this time. He finally has you back in his life and you two are building a tentative relationship. He doesn’t want to ruin that and he doesn’t want to trash the career he’s worked so hard to rebuild.”

Patrick licked at his lips. “If you asked my father, he would tell you that not a day has passed that he hasn’t wanted a drink. He would tell you it’s a daily struggle and that he has to approach it on a day-by-day basis. And I would say that at any moment he could slip. Any day could be the day when he can’t resist.”

Robin pursed her lips. “I’m sure you’re right. But wouldn’t it be better to support him and let him know how proud you are of him for what he has accomplished? Wouldn’t knowing that he has your love and support make it easier for him to continue to beat this addiction?”

“It can’t be about me. It has to be about him.”

“But whether you like it or not, his main motivation was to rebuild his relationship with you.”

Patrick squeezed his eyes closed. “I’m just afraid to put my trust in him again. I’m afraid to believe in him completely again, only to have him fail me once more. I just…I don’t think I could do it again, Robin.”

Robin nodded her head. “I understand feeling that way. I’ve had people that I love and trust fail me over and over again and it’s made me reluctant to risk my heart. But I’m trying to do better. I’m trying to focus on the present and the future, rather than live in the past. Patrick, if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that we can’t change the past. But we have some control over the present and the future. You can keep living in the past and waiting for your father to revert to his old ways, or you can try to believe in him and trust in him again. The choice is yours.”

Patrick felt a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “You know how it pains me to admit when you’re right.”

Robin laughed. “Oh, I know.” As the laugh faded, she met his eyes and squeezed his hand in hers. “I told you earlier that you remind me of your father sometimes. You took that as an insult, but I meant it in the best possible way. You’re both brilliant and strong and kind and willing to fight for what you believe is right.” She paused and allowed a smile to spread across her lips. “And when you love a woman, she can tell every time she looks in your eyes.”

Patrick offered her a grin, as he leaned across the table and placed a kiss on her lips.

---

Patrick entered the locker room, his gaze landing on his father. He dropped his eyes, as an uncomfortable feeling swept over him. Noah looked up to greet his son, but quickly turned his attention back to buttoning his shirt when he saw Patrick’s demeanor.

Patrick moved to his locker and began to change. His father finished changing and offered him a slight nod of his head before making his way to the door. He hadn’t even crossed the threshold yet, when Patrick’s voice stopped him in his tracks.

“Dad?”

Noah spun around to face his son. “Yes?”

Patrick’s mouth hung open, as he stared at his father blankly. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say, but he felt an overwhelming need to say something to him.

Noah’s brow wrinkled in confusion. “Did you want something, Patrick?”

Patrick swallowed hard and forced his head to move up and down. “Yeah,” he managed to say.

Noah took a few steps toward him, crossing his arms over his chest. He looked at his son expectantly, waiting patiently for him to speak.

“Well?” he finally said with a shrug of his shoulders.

Patrick licked at his lips, as he lowered his eyes to the linoleum. “I…uh…I was talking to Robin today. She…well, we got into an argument this morning because she gave you a patient that she first offered to me. She hates how competitive I am with you. And I admitted that I still don’t completely trust you in the O.R.”

Noah’s eyes widened. “Oh,” he said softly.

Patrick slowly lifted his head and met his father’s gaze. “I guess I’m always waiting for you to repeat your mistakes, to revert to your old ways. Because of that, I haven’t really treated you fairly. I haven’t given you the credit you deserve. I know it hasn’t been easy fighting your addiction to alcohol and it’s been difficult to rebuild your career and reputation. But you have. And I just wanted to say…I just wanted you to know…” Patrick ran his hands down his face and offered his father a sheepish smile. “This is harder than I expected,” he mumbled. He took a deep breath and looked Noah right in the eye. “I just wanted you to know that I am proud of you.”

Noah’s eyebrows arched in surprise. He was left momentarily speechless. When he finally recovered from his shock, he managed a slight smile. “Wow, uh, thank you. That means a lot to me, Patrick.”

Patrick shrugged his shoulders. “You should be thanking Robin. She made me see that I haven’t been fair to you and that you deserve my support.”

Noah’s smile widened. “I knew there was a reason I liked her.” Noah’s smile slowly slipped away. “Look, Patrick, I can’t promise you that I won’t slip up one day. This is a fight I will be waging for the rest of my life. But knowing I have you on my side will make it easier. I think of you every time I feel that urge and although you probably didn’t realize it, you’re the reason I’ve made it this far.”

Patrick placed his hands on his hips, as he forced his eyes to remain on his father. “You know, Robin said I remind her of you sometimes. Of course I reacted badly to that comparison. I said that you were the last person I wanted to be like.” Noah sucked in a breath, but maintained eye contact with his son. “But, the truth is, I wouldn’t be a doctor today if it weren’t for you. When I was a kid, I wanted to be just like you. I wanted to be a successful doctor and a good man. For a long time, I thought that I had become those things inspite of you. But I was wrong. You led by example my entire childhood and you’re leading by example now. Being with Robin has taught me that we can’t expect those we love to be perfect; we can’t expect that they won’t make mistakes. And loving people means loving and supporting them through everything – the good and the bad.”

Noah shook his head, as a grin appeared on his lips. “That woman sure has done you some good.”

Patrick nodded his head, smiling brightly, “You have no idea.”

Noah tilted his head. “I have some idea. Someone came into my life a long time ago and did the same for me.”

“Oh yeah? What happened to the person?”

Noah shrugged his shoulders and smiled. “I married her.”

Patrick chuckled, as Noah placed his arm around his son’s shoulders and they headed out of the locker room together.

---

Robin’s head rested comfortably in Patrick’s lap, as they sat on the couch in his apartment watching a movie. He ran his fingers through her silky hair, his eyes moving across the beautiful features of her face. The movie was half over and he couldn’t have told you a thing about it. His attention had been focused on her and how lucky he was to have her.

“I talked to my father,” he said quietly.

Robin removed her eyes from the television, rolled onto her back, and looked up at him.

“You did?”

“Yeah.”

“How did it go?” she asked, as she found his hand and entwined their fingers.

He offered her a lopsided grin. “In the end, it wasn’t as painful as I expected it to be.”

Robin smiled. “That’s good. What did you say?”

“I told him what we discussed. Then I told him I was proud of him.”

Robin lifted her free hand and cupped his cheek, as she whispered, “And I couldn’t be any more proud of you.”

Patrick’s eyes began to twinkle. “You know, when I was in school and the teacher was proud of something we did, she would reward us in some way.”

“Let me check my purse for a sheet of gold stars,” she said, as she made a move to get up.

Patrick’s strong arm coiled around her waist and pulled her back down onto his lap.

He met her eyes, as he slowly lowered his lips closer to hers. “I was thinking you could maybe think of a more creative way to show me just how proud you really are.”

“Hmm,” she said, as she tapped her temple thoughtfully and his lips hung temptingly close. “I think that can be arranged,” she replied softly, lifting her head and closing the distance between them.

----------------------------THE END---------------------------------
Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoy it and please let me know what you thought. -Steph